SPECIAL DELIVERY


           As I stepped onto the porch, I noticed the package leaned against my door. Curious, I grabbed the padded envelope and carried it inside. I tore it open and squealed when I saw the trademark black and silver packaging.  The new Kat Von D lipstick and gloss duo!
            I dialed my best friend Julie. “Thank you! You shouldn’t have; but thank you!” I gushed as soon as she answered the phone.
            She laughed. “What are you talking about?”
            “The lip duo kit. It delivered today. It’s the perfect shade too. I can’t wait to wear it.”
            “Why are you thanking me? I didn’t send you anything.”
            “Seriously? We were just talking about this exact product Friday. You seriously didn’t send it? But then who did?”
            “I don’t know, but it wasn’t me. Maybe you have a secret admirer,” Julie teased.
            “Well if so, they’ve got good taste. And a good eye for color. It’s Coco Rose.”
            “I’m jealous,” she chuckled.
           
            Two days later, I found a large envelop stuffed in my mailbox.  A book was folded inside.  Unhinged: The Butcher of Plainfield was a grimy true-crime paperback. Its cover showed a face fractured to look like a series of photos. Though I am an avid reader and true-crime fan, I’d never heard of this book. But a friend and I had discussed a new podcast featuring the stories of true American serial-killers, and this man’s name had come up. She hadn’t mentioned sending me a book though.

            Saturday morning, I woke to the dog barking frantically at the door. When I got up, no one was there but I found a box on the step. Inside the box was the 6-DVD collection of Alien movies.  I’m not a huge sci-fi fan. I had seen and enjoyed the first two movies in the series but had never seen the rest of them. At work earlier in the week, we had discussed the movies. The office was divided on the subject. Several coworkers were hard-core fans, while others disliked the whole series and even the entire genre. I was open to watching them and making up my own mind. But why would someone send me the collection? And who?
By now, I was more than a little curious about the packages. I was slightly unnerved. No one I asked would admit sending any of them. Yet all the items that arrived were things I had actually been talking about in recent days. It was almost as if someone were listening to me and sending me things I was interested in.
More random items arrived over the next weeks, and I was mystified. Then one afternoon I reached into the mailbox and pulled out my Visa bill. When I opened the statement, I began having chest pains and difficulty breathing. I was expecting a zero balance, but the statement said $750.
When I calmed down enough to call the help line, I was told the charges were for Amazon Prime Plus ESP. Apparently their newest in customer service is: if you talk about it, they will ship it to you.  For a fee, of course.

Comments

  1. Linda O'ConnellOctober 21, 2019 at 8:52 AM

    LOL this is funny but NOT funny. Even my husband is laughing. I'm going to have to tell him to be quiet.

    ReplyDelete

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